. .


. <%-- Start editing here--%> by AleX
on 11-04-2004

NOTES: The car that we made fun of looks usually like this. Except the one we saw had a custom weird metallic sky blue paint job on it. Quite ugly. I am not a car maniac, in fact I don't really care about cars (I drive a KIA RIO, which is a cheap nice car that came with 10 year warranty, so yay to that. As long as the thing has CD player, air condition and gets me from point A to point B, I am happy)... but that Subaru does not look like a sportscar to me at all. Tis too square and the wing and that wing is just funny-looking on it.. not to mention the ridiculously big front whatever that is.

Those stupid Subarus were freaking everywhere this summer. I would see at least 5 a week. Even in Canadia I saw one:

It's like they were freaking stalking me!

Speaking of cars that are trying to be all racer-looking, but fail miserably.. I came accross this poor thing one day. Poor little KIA RIO. Who in a right mind would try to turn that thing into a sportscar? He even gave it an underglow. What cracks me the most is the wing though.. aw man.


<%-- stop editing --%>
<%-- Start editing here--%> by Amy
on 11-04-2004

All right. Every once in a while I'll see a car [i.e. the 2005 Corvette] that makes my loins quiver. A car that makes me wish it was human just so I could make love to it. Lots of other times though? I see a car that makes me want to pull out a bat, beat the driver, and then beat his car - all while yelling things like: "Eat this monkey boy! What's your wing gonna do for you now, ass clown?! NOTHING! That's right! I'm your god!"

So, one night, Alex and I are driving around. We see this Subaru with dorky, look-like-they're-12 guys in it. It's all "pimped out" as the kids would say. You know what? Pimps should fight that term. It makes 'em look bad - all these little Civics and Subarus "pimped out". Any pimp should be ashamed that the word "pimp" is used to describe something so...not. How many pimps do you know that drive a Civic or Subaru? That's right: NONE. 'Cause the brothers [and sisters - female pimps UNITE!] got style. You know what's funny? Saying "pimp" a lot. Starts looking weird after a while, too. Teh. Pimp. I wish I had some popcorn right now. That would be pimp.

What would have been great is if we really threw something at the car. Alex's little Kia would have been the worst get-away vehicle, so we'd have met our doom at that point. But at least it would make for some great laughs.


P.Sx1. Where's that kid with my latte?

P.Sx2. I hope this inspires somebody to throw tomatoes and/or tomato soup at cars. Just don't blame me or Alex - though I know I would laugh and give you a high-five. Actually, throwing cucumbers would be funnier ::imagines a cucumber being thrown at a car:: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Awesome.

P.Sx3. []D[][]\/[][]D. You can't get a dollar outta me.
<%-- stop editing --%>
<%-- Start editing here--%> by Scott
on 11-04-2004

Alex does not like Subarus (or is it 'Subari') very much, does she? She does, however, very thoroughly enjoy that rancid soup at hand garbage that campbell's spawns from its vile breeding pits. For that matter, I also hate Subarus (Subari).

Oh well, no one cares what I think, anyway. I am a white male, everyone assumes my opinion is spoken for since the old codgers running most of the English-speaking countries on this planet happen to match my demographic in those parameters. Not only does the majority no longer rule, but individuality there within is ignored almost entirely. What a time to be alive...

This comic is about as random a story as they come. Enjoy!

<%-- stop editing --%>





F.A.R.T.S. are part of the Biscuit Press.

Factual Authentic Real True Stories (F.A.R.T.S.) and all materials within are Copyright 2003-2006 AleX Kujawa
Except for the characters (who are real people) which are used with their permission.

F.A.R.T.S. are hosted on BlueHost.

Designed by Alex K.